Feel So Far Away
by MsLane
Summary: Faberry. I decided to explore this deeper after I finished writing the drabbles. This idea came to me after I wrote the last drabble of the ipod 'challenge'. Please read and review! Much appreciated xo


_Okay so this was originally part of an iPod drabble I posted earlier but I decided I liked this particular one and that I wanted to extend this to a one-shot. This *is* a Faberry story, and it's *kind* of angsty but nothing majorly major. *Please* leave some feedback, anything at all...It helps honest, there's nothing more off putting than to see that a number of people read it, but not one left a comment :( Also for those who've read the drabble this is different, obviously I've had more time to write instead of just the length of the song (which is called 'Far Away' by Jay Sean ft Keisha Buchanan). The idea's the same but I decided to tweek some things to my liking (:  
It's got slight Brittana as well.  
It's set after high school and uhm I don't think there *are* any spoilers but uhm make sure you know the basic story bout glee, in the sense that Rachel is bound for Broadway, Puck is ambadassador, Finn is a dweeb and the such...However baby-gate didnt happen and Sam and Quinn never got together._

Disclaimer; I don't own Glee or any of the characters (sadly) and and I don't own the song that was the inspiration for this piece.

**Feel So Far Away**

"I can feel her slipping away, even though she's here physically San. I don't know what to do." I sigh looking at the brunette with what I'm sure are tired eyes.  
"Well what're you doing telling _me _this? I'm not the one who's 'slipping away' am I? You need to tell Ra...Berry that she's hurting you." She gives me the look and I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to hurt her. I love her, and I know she loves me...I mean I'm pretty sure, seeing as she isn't the type to just continue being in a relationship with someone if she doesn't have any feelings for them anymore."

Santana lets out a puff of air before massaging her temples and saying, "So then _talk _to her. You need to figure this out because you're hurting yourselves."

"This coming from the person that wouldn't sing a duet with the 'love of her life' in high school because of her badass image?"  
I didn't entirely mean it to be as bitchy as it came out and I'm thankful that Santana realized that because all she does is smirk at me and toss her hair back and say, "That's different AND I apologised. I've been singing duets with Brit ever since we _talked _haven't I?"

I nod and I have to hand it to her. She sure does know how to twist the situation back to me.

"So I talk to Rachel...?" It comes out more like a question than a definite course of action.

Santana just slaps a hand onto my back, her way of showing support, and says, "Exactly. Talk to her."  
As an after thought and in a moment of complete honesty and seriousness she says, "She really does love you Q. Don't doubt that."

I give her a small smile and pull her in for a quick hug, "Thanks S. Go get your girl."

She gives me a smirk and leaves me with a quick swat to the leg, "Go get _yours_."

_x

I drive around the city for a while, trying to formulate a plan as to how to bring it up.  
But I mean how do you tell the person that you love, with every fibre of your being, that you think that things aren't going well, even though said person loves you too?

How does one say that they think that maybe she might not love you the same?

What if Rachel is trying to put me down nicely? What if she's trying to distance herself on purpose?

I shake myself from that thought. It's ridiculous. I know I love her..and I think that's enough.

I make my way home, and even though I've got all these crazy thoughts going through my head I'm unable to stop myself from smiling at the thought of seeing her.

_x

I run up the stairs of the apartment building and nearly take our door off it's hinges in my hurry to see my girl.

However I stop dead when I realize the apartment is empty.

The complete darkness that I find should have clued me in, but I still do a quick check of all the rooms and I even call out her name, to no avail.

I drop my purse and keys near the door and dejectedly make my way to the kitchen, turning on the lights as I go.

That's when I notice a note on the counter with Rachel's perfectly cute hand writing stating, 'Sweetheart, I'm so very sorry, and I will apologize to you profusely when I see you as well, but someone rescheduled the interview that was for tomorrow for tonight and I had to go deal with the mess. I promise I will make it up to you.  
~Rachel *'

I can't help the small smile that forms when I see the star after her name. I had told her once how adorable I thought it was and ever since she makes sure she puts a little gold star whenever she writes me anything.

The smile however is short lived. And as I put the note back down on the counter I can't stop my heart from aching.  
I know it isn't her fault that her booking agent messed up, but that doesn't stop the hurt. I really wanted to see her.

I pull open the fridge and notice another note stuck to a plastic container.  
'Quinn I know you say I don't have to cook for you, but I love to, and I'm just sorry that we couldn't eat this together. Or that I couldn't properly make this for you, since I wasn't entirely sure when you'd be home...but heat it in the oven at 356°F for about half an hour and it should be good to go.'

As I wait for the timer to go off I can't help but think that it's things like this that make me doubt that anything has changed. She's still considerate and sweet and she takes care of me even though I tell her I can take care of myself with enough left over to take care of her too.

While I'm eating dinner (alone.) I pull out my cell phone and check to see if maybe I had it on silent, thinking that Rachel may have called and I simply missed it. But no, she hadn't called or texted either for that matter. I put my phone back in my pocket and continue eating my dinner hoping that maybe she'll walk in at any minute now.

An hour and a half later and I'm done with dinner and I had washed the dishes and I had brushed my teeth, and still no sign of Rachel.

I grab my phone off the night stand and send her a quick text.

**I'll c u 2moro. im goin 2 go 2 sleep. gd nite x**

I allow myself a moment to smirk, knowing just how much she hates when people use text lingo to well...text.

Fifteen minutes later when I was almost completely asleep I feel my phone buzz and I hear a loud ping signaling a new text.

**Sorry Quinn, it's running late, they booked a meet and greet before the interview. Also, you know how much I dislike that sort of 'lingo', so I must have done something or else you're feeling decidedly Lopez-ish, either way, I'll have you know I almost dropped my phone in absolute shock and horror when I read your text. Sleep well, good night xox***

I chuckle to myself even though I'm supposed to be peeved. How is it that Rachel is able to make me completely forget and forgive with just a simple text? The mystery that is Rachel Berry.

_x

I'm dreaming. I've got to be. No way am I being kissed like this in real life. These kisses don't exist in real life. But apparently they do.

"Morning Quinn."

My eyes shoot open and I'm blessed with a sight for sore eyes, "Hey baby. When did you get in?"

Rachel smiles down at me warmly from her position across my waist, "Late. You were already asleep and I wasn't going to wake you up so I just snuggled in next to you and figured I'd apologize properly in the morning. That by the way was only a precursor."

I grin at her, lazily drawing patterns on her thighs that were on either side of me, "Mm I like the sound of that."

She lets out a melodious laugh, "Oh I bet you do."

With that she leans back down and kisses me again.

"QUINN FABRAY!"

I nearly jump out of my skin, toppling over the edge of the bed and onto the floor.

As I scramble up out of the blanket cocoon of death I hear laughter from one soon to be dead Latina. "Santana?" I say sweetly as I finally get rid of the sheets.

She's still laughing so she doesn't notice that I've gotten closer or that I've got that gleam in my eyes, "Lopez when I get my hands on you I swear to God..."

I didn't even finish my threat when I lunged at her, taking her by surprise seeing as she just toppled over under my added weight.

"Get off me! What the hell's the matter with you!"

"You! You are what's the matter with me! I was having a great dream and I was sleeping for fucks sake and you come waltzing in YELLING my name like there's a fire or something!"

Santana huffs and turns us over so that she's now on top and is holding my hands down on either side of me, "Calm down."

I breathe and will myself to stop wanting to attack her when she bends down and kisses my cheek, "Good morning sunshine."

She's got a wicked grin on her face and I just roll my eyes, "Whatever Satan Spawn. Just don't go around waking me up like that again."

She just smirks at me, "It's nice to know that you've got some kick left. I haven't heard you curse like that in a long time."

She takes her time getting off of me and doesn't even offer to help me up. Typical.

I usher her out of the room so I can change and she goes but not before taking a jab at my pajamas.

"If I didn't know any better I'd have said you were taken aboard the Berry mother ship and converted and reprogrammed to be Berry the second. What the fuck is up with them stars Q?"

I look down at my clothes before quickly whipping my head up to meet her eyes, "First of all. Don't talk bout my girl like that. Second of all...what's wrong with stars?"

Santana just laughs and says, "Nothing Q, absolutely nothing. Hurry up and get your ass out to the kitchen. I'm hungry."

A few minutes later I'm fresh out of my shower and I'm feeling pretty good even though I came to the conclusion that I probably slept alone again last night for the fifth time this week or else Rachel came and then left early this morning.

Walking into the kitchen I'm greeted with the sight of Brittany and Santana standing next to each other at the stove trying to make what appeared to be pancakes.

Clearing my throat to try and get their attention leads to a spatula being dropped and Brittany in my arms, "Hi Q!"

I smile warmly at her, "Hey B, how're you?"

She grins pulling away slightly, "I'm good, we're making pancakes!"

Looking into the pan that Santana was hovering over I notice that it had the _potential _of being a good pancake...save for the fact that it was now burnt to a crisp. Santana quickly discards it and puts in some new batter giving me a sheepish grin and a shrug.

I smile at the blonde in my arms, "Sounds good to me B...How bout I help San here and you can set the table?"

Her grin, if possible, gets bigger, "Alright!"

I take over the pan and spatula while Santana pulls herself up on top of the counter, "So have you talked to Berry yet?"

I glance over at her quickly before flipping a pancake over, "I haven't exactly seen her very much this whole week San."

I'm sure she's giving me a look, which is why I'm totally ignoring her and focusing on the very demanding task of flipping pancakes.

I do however hear her sigh, "I hate seeing you like this Q."

"Like what?"

"All hurt and shit."

I roll my eyes, "I'm fine S...just." I cut myself off and shrug before putting some more pancake batter into the pan.  
"Don't pretend you aren't hurt Q. Please. It just makes it hurt us more." Brittany comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist and rests a head on my shoulder.

I squeeze her arms and I whisper, "I'm sorry Brit...I don't mean to hurt you."

She nods against my back, "I know...but please fix things with Ray-bear. Please? I want you to be happy again."

Santana looks at us and nods when my eyes meet hers, "We just want you to be happy again. The _both _of you."

I nod at her thankful, "Thank you."

Santana catches my eyes again then hops off the counter, "Alright enough of this mushy gushy shit, I wanna have breakfast this century damnit."

_x

That night I decided that I was going to talk to Rachel. Ignoring it and hoping it would go away wasn't working, so the only other thing to do is to attack it head on...Santana and her way of talking.

I'm sitting in the living room with my feet tucked under me and the TV on, when I hear the front door open.

"Quinn, aww you stayed up."

I give her a small smile and a nod, "I did. I've missed you."

I see a hint of sadness flash across her eyes before she gives me a small smile, "I've missed you too." She goes into the bedroom and drops off her bags and coat and comes back to sit next to me on the couch cuddling close and kissing me hello.

I smile through the kiss for a second but then my eyes must have sprung a leak because I feel her pulling away slightly and wiping my eyes, "What's wrong?"

I sniff and reprimand myself, this wasn't how I wanted to start this conversation. I stand up from the couch and take a few steps away.

"You aren't here anymore." I whisper out.

She stand up and follows me and reaches out and traces a hand across my cheek wiping away at the few rebel tears that escaped.

"Quinn what are you talking about? I'm right here." Rachel's voice is barely above a whisper and I can hear the strain in her voice frustrated and confused because she can't understand what's going on.

I can't stop my lips from quivering from trying to stop myself from crying, "I mean emotionally. We don't talk like before. We don't hold hands, even our kisses aren't the same."

I almost completely lose it when I look into her beautiful brown eyes and see hurt, shock and sadness reflected back at me, "What...what are you saying Quinn?"

I finally let my tears fall without restraint backing up away from her, "I'm saying that I feel like I'm losing you, even though you're right here. I can feel you right in front of me, but it feels like you're a million miles away in here." I point to my chest.

Taking a step closer to me, Rachel reaches a hand to my face and brings our lips together in a kiss and as we both pull away I cant help but cry harder, resting our foreheads together, "You dont feel it either do you?"

Rachel has started crying as well, knowing that I was talking about the spark that used to go along with every kiss we used to share, "I love you though Quinn, so much. I need you, it's not even just a want, I literally need you."

My tears mingle with Rachel's as I pull her closer still, trying to get her as close as I can, "I love you too Rach, so much. Can we fix this? Can we please fix this? Because it hurts, so damn much Rachel."

Rachel cries out softly and nods, "We can fix this baby. I'm sorry for letting this happen, I promise I'll fix this. I don't ever want you to hurt. I'll fix this."

I hug her tighter, as she's kissing my neck and shoulder repeatedly, I say, "_We'll _fix this Ray. I want this. I want _you_, I _need_ you."

Rachel pulls back slightly and once again rests our foreheads together, "I promise you baby, whatever it takes. I'm in this for the long haul Quinn Fabray. If I have to quit Broadway, move to Georgia and start a farm, then so help me God I'll do it, if it meant keeping you in my life."

Hearing that made me laugh through my tears. Rachel however pulls me to her closer and says, "I'm serious baby, whatever it takes, this is going to work out. You're it for me. I cant even begin to imagine, no. I don't even _want_ to imagine my life without you in it. We'll go to couples therapy, counseling whatever it is you want Quinn. I promise..."

I interrupt her, "Baby Ray...I promise too. I want this just as much as you do. I love you so much it hurts sometimes."

She kisses me again and this time I can feel her trying to pour every ounce of emotion into me, just like I'm trying to pour every ounce of feeling into _her_. A few minutes later we find ourselves seated on the couch and we're both panting for breath and as we try and catch said breaths she grabs the phone off the coffee table and before I know it she's saying, "Cancel everything that may or may not have been planned for tomorrow and the day after and you know what?...Cancel all week. And tell my understudy she better be well prepared because that means I'm not doing a single show this week either. No, I'm fine, I just have more important things to worry about. I don't know, I have to take this time to figure out what I want to be done. I don't know if its temporary or not. You aren't making this harder, you saying that just makes my decision easier. All week. Thank you, yes I will. Bye."

My mouth I'm sure is on the floor, my eyes on her as she sets the phone back on the coffee table and returns to wrap her arms around me and says with a hint of amusement, "You'll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that."

I rapidly shut my mouth but I cant quite stop gaping at her, "Did...did you just...you took...all week?"

She's giving me this adorable smile and she nods before saying, "Yes. All week. It's come to my attention that I've been lacking, and "

I go to interrupt her there because I honestly don't want her thinking that I think it has everything to do with her lacking in some way but she quickly rushes on, "AND I'm going to fix it. We need to take this time to look at how we can overcome this."

I smile at her and kiss her quickly, "I think this is heading in the right direction. Us talking about it. I've missed being able to wrap you into my arms when I go to sleep, and waking up to you in the mornings. I've missed having real conversations with you face to face instead of just through a text here and there. I just...I've missed my girlfriend so much."

Her eyes start to water and I'm slightly sorry that I've caused her to start tearing up again but she wipes them away before I can, "I'm sorry Quinn. I promise you I will make this up to you. I can honestly tell you now that I've been made to think about it, I've missed having your arms around me when I sleep too...I love feeling you near me. I just...I guess I got so caught up in the hustle and bustle...I suppose I made myself believe that it was okay to not have you next to me every night because it was necessary for my dreams."

I nod trying to show her I understand but she shakes her head at me, "But my brain wasn't caught up with my heart Quinn. My dreams have changed. You are a rather major part of my dreams now. And I should never have thought it was okay to not be in your arms at the end of the night, or that it was okay to just be lying next to you, or that it was perfectly fine to leave even before you wake up. That isn't what I want. Not even in the slightest. Quinn Fabray I want to wake up every morning to your beautiful, gorgeous face, and go to bed every night in your arms, I want to go to sleep at the same time. I don't want to have to tip toe around the room scared to wake you because of the ungodly hour that I come back home at."

I smile at her and kiss her soundly, "I love you Rachel Berry, so very much."

Rachel gives me a heartbreakingly beautiful smile in return, one that I know that I'm the only one able to make appear, and she kisses from my lips across my jaw to my ear and whispers, "I love you more than life itself Quinn Fabray."

_x

It's now been six months since then and I've got to say things have worked out.

Rachel still does what she loves (yes. That does include me!) but we've worked on our communication. I wake up with her in the mornings and we have breakfast before she leaves, she now pushed her working hours from 6am to 9am giving us ample time to get ready for work together.

We make sure that we go to bed at the same time, or if we cant then Rachel wakes me up so we can wrap ourselves around each other before going to sleep again.

Also we worked out a routine where every week we have a date night...Or rather an entire day really. No work, no phones, just us. And it's perfect. All day long with one Rachel Berry.

Today is one such day and as I toy with the little blue box in my coat pocket, while the other hand is playing with her beautiful brown hair, I can't help but smile as I look at her nor can I stop it from growing when I think about spending the rest of my life with one Rachel Berry-Fabray.


End file.
